Thursday, 12 July 2012

What Goes On Inside A Baby's Head

Ooooh, look at that bright shiny object!! Amazing! I love it so much. Better take a bite. MmmmRRaarrr. I was right. This is amazing.  No other object could ever compare. I am going to dedicate a— Oh wow! What is that? Oh my God, no way. It’s Sophie the Giraffe! Holy crap, this giraffe is unbelievable. I need to get that in my mouth NOW! What is that smell? Ugh, the Giant Person with Boobs is pureeing something again. Yuck! I don’t want any stupid food. Gross! Oooh look at that drawer, I bet I could find something dangerous to play with in there. Yesss! Choking hazards! My favourite! Let me just---Aaaaah! Why does the Big Giant Person With Boobs always move me when I’m just about to get the party started? Oooh, I never noticed how totally captivating my foot was before. I----AAAHHHH! WAAAAAH! I AM SO HUNGRY! Whyyyyy is no one feeding me! FEED. ME. NOW. Mmmm, nom nom nom yum yum. Thank you so much, Mommy. This is the best applesauce I’ve ever had ever. No seriously. It’s sublime. Mmmm- HEY! Stop shoving that disgusting apple sauce in my face! I’m not hungry! If you don’t stop shoving that spoon in my face this very instant, I am going to have a Category Five Freakout. Put me down on the floor! Saweeeeet! It worked! The Giant put me down! Yay! Now to continue my search for hazardous household objects. Let’s see if I can find some blind cords or wires to play with. Yipppeee! Ok, hold on, I need to take a quick bathroom break. In my diaper. Aaaaah! Why is that damn Giant picking me up again? I have no tolerance for this ridiculousness. Please respect my dignity, and do not wipe my butt. I am quite content to continue going about my day in my poo-filled diaper. With all due respect, I am very busy and don’t have time for this. Okay, reasoning clearly isn’t going to work with this Giant. I better go the freak-out route. Waaaaaahhhhh! Waaaaaah! (Squirm! Squirm! Kick! Arch Back!) Yessss! It worked. I may have a clean diaper, but that won’t stop me from completing my mission! What was my mission again? Ah well, whatever, I’m just going to crawl really really really fast. Wooohoo! Look at me go! This is aaaaweesssoooommeee!! I’m unstoppable! Look at me---Holy crap, I’m tired. Waaaaahhhh!! I’m tired, but I don’t know it. Whhaaaawaaawaa! What? It’s bath time? Ok, I have a second wind. I LOVE THE BATH! No! No! Don’t take me out of the bath! Waaawaaa- Ooooh! Bottle?! For me? Oh, you shouldn’t have. Okay, you should have. Give me that bottle now. I am SOOO HUUUNGRY! Mmmmm. Yumm! Thanks mommy. This is the best bottle I’ve ever had ever. No seriously. It’s sublime. Noooo! Don’t make me go to bed! I’m not tired! Waaahhh…….Zzzzzzzz….


16 comments:

  1. LOL!!! I always wondered this. See you answered it for me now:)

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  2. Oh my god! That is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever read. Awesome post!

    New follower from Musings of an Imperfect Mom.

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  3. Ah, the life of a mommy - babies grow up so fast. Visited you on the blog hop.

    Give me a visit some time at thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com

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  4. Hi Laura, following you back. VERY CUTE POST! When I am not blogging, I am a nanny. So this kinda of post cracks me up. Have a great weekend.

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  5. Hilarious post! I do so wish we could get inside those tiny heads, with so much going on inside. Especially if the voice sounded like that baby in Family Guy...

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  6. I enjoyed this funny post:) Following from a blog hop and hope you would follow me too please.

    http://kngmckellar-glorias.blogspot.com/

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  7. Hysterical! That sounds about right. :) I love "the Giant Person with Boobs." Bwahaha! New visitor from The Mommyhood Chronicles.

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  8. So funny! I have found so many awesome blogs on the blog hop this week.
    Dani
    suburbiainterrupted.com

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  9. I love this post! I have found so many awesome blogs on blog hop this week!
    Dani
    suburbiainterrupted.com

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  10. You must have somehow been inside my son's head when he was that age and wrote everything down! Spot on. And hilarious. I finally did my Liebster Award post and plugged your hilarious blog. Thanks again! http://www.notmymomsblog.com/2012/07/big-helping-of-steak-and-liebster.html

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  11. That is hilarious! Thanks so much - I'm getting a few morning laughs visiting all these fantastic blogs through the Naptime Review Blog Hop! I'm connecting with you here after connecting on Twitter. I'm now also following you via GFC and Linky.

    Have a great day, Renee

    http://motherdaughterbookreviews.com

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  12. Yup, I think you nailed it. I love the "Why is no one feeding me?" and then 1 second later "Stop shoving applesauce in my face!" Babies are so fickle.

    I came over from finding the funny.

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    Replies
    1. Yes. Fickle is an understatement.

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