I Think I'll Just Stay On Daylight Savings Time

Apparently it’s almost time to switch our clocks back, and I couldn’t be more unprepared.  I realized this after reading this post by fellow blogger, Dani at Cloudy, With A Chance of Wine. Dani describes how
 she has gradually been moving her daughter’s schedule later and later over the past month. Smart thinking.

I, on the other hand have done nothing to prepare my daughter for the adjustment. This experience is completely new to me- at this time last year, my daughter was a newborn, and a “schedule” was the furthest thing from my mind.  Now, my daughter is old enough to have a consistent schedule, but not old enough to understand that 6:00 am “old time” equals  5:00am “new time”  (ie. Way too early to be awake).  

Prior to having a baby, the end of Daylights Savings Time meant an extra hour of sleep. Amazing.  Back in my teenage years, the end of daylight savings time meant an extra hour to party and a later curfew. Equally amazing. 

But things are different now and I’m less than thrilled about starting my day sometime around 5 am tomorrow.  

I really really REALLY don’t want to switch the clocks back.

So I’m thinking I just won’t.

Would boycotting the return to “real time” really be so terrible? Think of the benefits:

I would be an hour early for every appointment. As every parent knows, getting out of the house with a baby can be quite the ordeal, and often causes frenzy, tardiness, and mismatched socks.

But not anymore.

I would get an extra hour of sunlight each afternoon, which in my opinion would do wonders for combating the winter blahs. (It might kind of suck to be in complete darkness every day until lunch time, but I’m choosing to ignore that aspect).

Then, of course, there’s the most obvious benefit which is that when spring rolls around, my daughter and I will already be on Daylight Savings Time, and I won’t have to re-work her sleep schedule.

So, it’s decided.  I’m going to just stay on daylight savings time.

Who’s with me?

Theme Thursday: Things I Wish I Knew Before I Became A Parent

Today I’m linking up with Theme Thursday. This week’s theme is:     

“Things I Wish I Knew Before I Became A Parent.”

The first thing that comes to mind is sleep. I wish I had known the value of sleep, and how it’s better than chocolate.  Make that better than chocolate fudge brownies served on a gold platter by singing unicorns. Had I known the value of sleep, I would have purchased hundreds of shares of this valuable commodity back when it was cheap. 

Instead, I was busy chasing those stupid unicorns (and by chasing unicorns, I mean going to the bar, talking on the phone, watching TV, or basically doing anything that wasn’t sleeping because I could always sleep in the next day).  

Sleeping in- that’s what it’s called,right? When you do that thing where you wake up and the sun is actually out, and you look at your clock it and it doesn’t start with a 6 (or a 5, God forbid!)?

I also wish that I had known that children have temper tantrums even when they have good parents.

I always assumed when I saw kids misbehaving in public that it was because their parents didn’t discipline them properly. In some cases this is true, but I also now realize that I severely overestimated the parents’ responsibility in these melt downs. 

Sometimes kids throw fits. They just do. And had I known this, I might have done a little less eye-rolling back when I thought I knew everything.

I also wish I had realized that no matter how busy I felt in those pre-baby days, I had a lot of spare time. I never felt like I did, but that’s because I spent a lot of it doing trivial things like styling my hair and watching Real Housewives marathons. And showering.

Maybe if I knew how much spare time I had, back then, I would have been more productive. Maybe I would have taken a photography class or cleaned out my basement. (Yeah right.)

But here’s the thing- I don’t actually wish I had known any of these things, because I’m truly having an awesome time figuring it out bit by bit. And I have my daughter to thank for teaching me so many lessons that I would never have learned on my own.

And now, I really do appreciate the value of sleep. And showers.

I’m linking up with Theme Thursday. If you like Thursday and themes, then maybe you should too!

Why Malls Were Invented

I never really understood the appeal of malls. Well, except when I was 14 years old, and it was like totally the coolest place ever. But that was before I discovered- well…everywhere else- because almost everywhere else is more exciting than the mall.

Or at least it was. Until now.

I have now reignited my love affair with the mall, and I am a hundred percent in the honeymoon phase.

You see, my one year old daughter recently started walking. At first, all her walking took place at home, as she wasn’t yet steady enough on her feet to take the show on the road. 

Once her walking improved and she was ready to make her debut public performance, we went to the local mall, and I set her loose.  

Suddenly, it was like King Midas had turned the place to gold.

Previously unnoticed signs on the wall became works of art, ugly plants took on a rainforest-like mystique, and benches became percussion instruments.

Now I can add “hanging out at the mall” to the list of activities that I never understood prior to becoming a mom (along with other formerly -deemed “odd” lifestyle choices, such as going to bed early, living in the suburbs, and staying home on Saturday night).

So now I know, malls are for toddlers. And if my daughter loves the mall, I do too. After all, what could be better than watching her take such delight in a place that I previously thought was depressing, at best?

And the cherry on top? All that walking, running, and exploring tired her out so much that she slept for thirteen hours that night. And that, my friends, is why malls were invented.

Goodnight Moon: I Just Don't Get It

She doesn't get it either.

Goodnight Moon is a classic, and I am certainly in no position to judge a book that has been loved for generations. I remember reading it as a kid, and now I read it to my daughter. It’s definitely a great book, but there are some things about it that I just don’t understand.

The quiet old lady whispering ‘hush’
Does anyone else find her a little bit creepy? Who is she? I assume she is the little bunny’s grandma so, okay, that explains what she’s doing there, but what is she doing all the way across the room, with that vacant look in her eyes, knitting with no fingers?! Like, I said, creepy.

The bowl full of mush
I’m guessing this is oatmeal, but why is the bunny eating oatmeal before bed, after he’s presumably already brushed his teeth? Although it is a bowl full of mush, so maybe he didn’t actually eat any, which makes me wonder why it's there. Did the creepy old bunny prepare it advance for the next morning? Because that’s just gross. And weird.

Goodnight nobody
Is he saying that there's really nobody there because he is just imagining the creepy old lady, the kittens, the bears and everything else? Or is it more like a philosophical “if a tree falls in a remote forest (or if it's dark in a green room and you can't see anybody), is there really anyone to say goodnight to?” Or is he saying goodnight to nobody because he’s being an oppositional toddler and he doesn’t actually want to say goodnight to all these freaking mittens and socks and bears and chairs?

The random assortment of crap in the room
Am I the only one who finds the contents of the room to be a little bizarre? Why are there two clocks? Why is there a “little” toy house that’s big enough for the creepy old bunny to fit in? What’s with the red balloon? And why oh why, is no one doing anything about the mouse infestation? Those are the most useless cats ever.

Is anyone else as confused by this book as I am?

Attachment Parenting My Own Way

I never carried my baby in a sling, I don’t co-sleep, I’m not breastfeeding, and I used the “cry it out” method to teach my daughter to sleep. According to many proponents of attachment parenting, I certainly don’t meet the criteria of an attachment parent. But I beg to differ.

As a social sciences student in university, I read a lot about attachment theory, and none of what I read discussed baby-wearing, breastfeeding or any of the other behaviours that popular media has led us to believe are prerequisites for connecting with our babies.

John Bowlby, the psychiatrist who originally developed attachment theory, believed that a child’s relationship with his/ her early caregivers was integral to his development, particularly with regard to his/her subsequent relationships.  Since then, numerous academics have expanded on Bowlby’s work, and attachment theory has become highly influential in the fields of social work, psychology, and psychotherapy.

Briefly, attachment theorists believe that a child develops a secure attachment to his parent when the parent provides a “secure base” from which he can explore the world.  Basically, this means that the parent responds to the baby in a consistent, sensitive, loving manner, and raises the baby in a safe, predictable, caring environment in which his needs are met and he learns to trust others.  Children raised in this manner are said to have a “secure” style of attachment, and thus develop a secure sense of self and others, have the tools necessary to learn, and grow up well-equipped to form healthy relationships.

In contrast, children who are raised by abusive and/or neglectful parents never form a secure attachment with their caregiver, and thus are programmed from a young age to view the world as unsafe, and to see others as untrustworthy. They are considered to be “insecurely attached”, and as adults they often develop a whole slew of emotional, mental and functional problems. 

This is a highly over-simplified explanation of attachment theory, but I think it serves to paint a general picture of the difference between the childhoods of the securely attached individual and that of the insecurely attached individual.

Fast-forward to 2012, and you can barely open a newspaper or magazine without finding an article about attachment parenting. But we seem to have lost focus somewhere along the way about what it really means to raise a securely attached child.  We are told that we should be “wearing” our babies in order to foster a strong bond between parent and child. We are told that we must, must, must breastfeed our babies, or else something really really scary and bad might happen. We are told that our babies must sleep in our beds, because cribs are apparently, super, super scary and lonely (really?). We are told that sleep training (Cry-it-out), and scheduling are what cruel and selfish parents do for their own convenience (don’t even get me started on this one.)

Since when did parenting come with such proscriptive rules? For the record, I think that baby-wearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding etc are all wonderful things if they are right for your family. If something doesn’t feel right for you and for your baby, then there is probably a reason for that. Some people who call themselves attachment parents would argue that I am most certainly NOT an attachment parent, because of some of the child-rearing decisions I’ve made. 

For example, I chose the “cry-it-out” approach to teach my daughter to fall asleep unassisted.  I shouldn’t have to defend my decision to do this, but I feel like I need to.  I did not do “cry it out” for my convenience; I did not do it out of frustration; I did not do it out of impatience. I did it because it was the kindest thing I could do for my daughter.  Every night, she would be awake for hours, crying in desperation, clearly feeling tortured and miserable. I didn’t know what was wrong until I finally realized that she was exhausted, and although she was desperate to fall asleep, she just didn’t know how.  I tried everything, but nothing was working, and she was becoming increasingly irritable and wakeful. Sleep training resulted in my daughter learning to fall asleep unassisted, getting good quality sleep, and having a noticeably happier temperament- all of which are more significant for her long-term development, than the fact that she was left to shed a few tears for a bit before falling asleep. I truly believe that it would have been cruel to not do cry it out with her.  This is not to say that I think everyone should do cry-it-out type sleep training- quite the opposite. All I am saying is, do what is right for you family, and try not to get caught up in all the judgement, the labels, and the “expert” opinions.

Please know that I am not criticizing attachment parenting. As I said, I really do consider myself an attachment parent. What I have a problem with is the people who think that everyone needs to practice certain particular parenting strategies in order to raise healthy, happy children. Parenting is hard enough. Why make it harder on ourselves?  There is an infinite number of “right” ways to raise children. I don’t know what’s right for your family and you don’t know what’s right for mine.

So, if I consider myself an attachment parent, but I don’t practice any of the behaviours commonly associated with attachment parenting, then what is attachment parenting? In my opinion, attachment parenting is parenting in a way that leads your child to develop a secure attachment style so that he or she develops a strong sense of self and others, and grows up to form healthy relationships.  This leaves a lot of room for interpretation and I think that's just the way it should be.  Attachment parents love their children, respond to their needs, are consistent, and make their children feel safe and secure. There are so many ways to do this, so don’t be afraid to shirk the trends, and don’t be afraid to follow the trends. Love your baby the best way you know how, and I will do the same.

Stupid Mom Tricks

Stupid mom tricks- every mom has them. These are the little systems we invent to make the day to day hassles a little less hassle-y. These tricks aren't actually stupid, they are just simple, but aren’t the simplest solutions usually the best?  So, without further ado, I present to you my stupid (smart) mom tricks.

Problem: You finally get your newborn baby to sleep, and you are dying to get some yourself. You brush your teeth, put on your comfiest pyjamas and curl up in your nice warm bed that you now appreciate more than ever. You are just drifting off into dreamland, and the shrill piercing sound of your baby’s cry startles you awake.

Solution: Once you get your baby to sleep, do not put your pyjamas on; do not brush your teeth. Just get into bed. Assume you are going to be woken up in ten minutes, and next thing you know, it's three hours later and you've actually just SLEPT for three hours straight! Don't ask me why it works, and don't come complaining to me when all your clothes are wrinkled, and you have eight cavities. Just be grateful that you finally got some sleep.

Problem: That perfect, delicious cup of hot coffee that you've been craving all day gets cold because you got interrupted by diaper changes/ feedings/ hair covered in baby poo, OR that same delicious cup of coffee gets spilled everywhere because baby has decided to use it for batting practice.  Either way, goodbye coffee; hello grumpy mama.

Solution: Travel mugs. Not just for traveling. Use your travel mug for drinking coffee at home, and all your problems are solved- well, your coffee-related problems, anyway.  My favourite travel mug is the Contigo Autoseal mug. It has this little button that you push while you are taking a sip, and then it automatically closes again when you let go. I play with my baby on the floor, putting the travel mug down beside me, and have never had any spills, despite having it knocked over numerous times. Plus, my coffee stays hot for hours, which is very important, because cold coffee really pisses me off.

Problem: The Urination Situation: As soon as you put the baby in the tub, she thinks to herself, “What lovely warm water. I think I’ll pee now”.   My daughter used to pee in the bath about 75% of the time I bathed her (the other 25% of the time I probably just didn’t notice). 

Solution: Pee Prevention System designed to put an end to the urination situation:

Step 1: Get bath ready

Step 2: Remove baby’s clothes, leaving diaper on

Step 3: Dip baby’s feet in the water (if you’re ambitious, you may dip baby’s hands in as well) for a few seconds.

Step 4: Remove diaper, hoping that she’s peed in the diaper, thus preventing the dreaded bath pee. (Bonus points if you have the kind of diaper with the pee indicator that changes colour when the baby pees, so you can see immediate evidence of your success. Pampers- I hope you’re reading this, because I think I’ve just given you a new angle for marketing the pee indicator. You can thank me with a lifetime supply of diapers, please.)

Step 5: Bathe your baby, and enjoy every pee-free moment.

Should the pee prevention system not work, I don’t know what to tell you. Sorry, you don’t get your money back. You do, however, have my sympathy, and if I ever do get that lifetime supply of diapers, I’ll send a few your way.