Stuff People Say To New Moms

Since becoming a mom, I have noticed that there are a lot of people who have the annoying habit of asking really annoying/intrusive/just-plain-dumb questions, and making really annoying/intrusive/just-plain-dumb comments.  

That being said, I am probably guilty of saying some (many?) inappropriate things to other moms, so I’m certainly not an expert in mommy etiquette. What I do know is that the following questions/comments are particularly annoying:

“It only gets harder the older they get.”

Thank you. Thank you for that completely useless piece of information. 

 

“Don’t you think letting your baby cry it out (CIO) will cause long-term brain damage and ADHD?”

            No. I don’t. And do you really think I would have done it if I believed it did any harm?

“Aren’t you going to sign her up for any classes?”

           Um, she’s a baby. She chews her feet, and watches the ceiling fan as if it were freaking Cirque de
           Soleil. Sure, I might sign her up for some mom and tot classes, but you know what? I might not.  I
           don’t know, maybe she won’t get into Harvard because I didn’t sign her up for baby mathletes, but
           I’ll take my chances.

“Is she (insert milestone of your choice here) yet?” 


           No, she’s not walking yet. No, she’s not talking yet. No, she’s not inventing the flying car (yet). But,
           now that you mention it, I’m starting to get worried that she’s behind on her milestones. I know I’m
           overreacting, and this is a totally innocent question, but it’s the kind of questions that is really un-fun
           to answer, when the answer is “No.”

“Your body will never be the same now that you’ve had a baby.”

 
           Just because your ass grew to the size of Texas while you were pregnant and it stayed that way
           doesn’t mean you have to bring me down with you. First of all, lots of  some women do get their
           pre-pregnancy bodies back, and even though I’m not one of them, please don’t ruin my fantasy.
           I’m still convinced that the washboard abs I had when I was 12 are under the flab somewhere,
           getting ready to make their comeback.

“How do you like being a mom?” 

       

          So for the record, I think being a mom is more awesome than cheesecake, but what if I didn’t like  

          being a mom? Let me demonstrate through a hypothetical exchange between a mom and an  

          Annoying Question Asker

Annoying Question Asker: “Congratulations on your new baby! How do you like being a mom?”

            Mom: “Actually, it kind of sucks.”

          Clearly, this would put a bit of a damper on the conversation. I’m pretty sure there’s only one
          acceptable way to answer this question, so unless you are comfortable hearing about how someone
          hates being a mom (which some women do), then just don’t ask!

“You really need to take some time for yourself”

         Thanks. I never thought of that. All this time, it never even occurred to me that it might be nice to take
         a shower, or watch an episode of The Real Housewives, or (dare I say it) sleep in. I really don’t
         know why this didn’t occur to me. In fact, I think I’ll go get a pedicure right this second. Oh wait, the   
         baby.

Frugal Friday: Help! I Spend Way Too Much On Groceries!

$1155.78.  That is how much we spent on groceries for the month of July. My husband had noticed that we seemed to be spending a lot on groceries and so he added it up. I guess he felt the number was too high to say out loud because he emailed it to me, despite the fact that I was sitting in the next room.

Our household is comprised of two adults, one baby, and one dog.  How does such a small family spend $1155.78 on one month’s worth of groceries? It seems like a bit much (even in Canada, where food is expensive).

In our defense, this was a particularly expensive month for groceries.  We had been out of town for May and June, and so we had to re-stock a lot of items. Also, this grocery bill is a total of the money we spent at the grocery store and Costco, so it includes other household items like toilet paper, diapers, etc.

I’ve always been careful about my spending, and I hate the feeling of wasting money. My philosophy is that if you save money on the little day to day items, you won’t feel guilty spending money on the big ticket items that you really want.  For example, I don’t feel the need to buy brand name rice cakes, but I did buy a top-of-the-line car seat for my daughter. I also believe in the importance of eating wholesome, healthy foods (hence the exorbitant amount of money I spend on groceries).

After looking at this past month’s grocery bill, I am determined to decrease our grocery spending without sacrificing the quality of the food we eat. Here is how I plan to do it:

-Meal Planning- This is the most challenging task because I’m finding it hard to find recipes my 10 month old daughter will also be able to eat. It seems like every meal I make has something in it that’s not “baby friendly” for one reason or another. I don’t expect that I’ll get it together enough to plan every night’s dinner ahead of time, but I’m definitely going to try my best to do more meal planning because it ensures I will only buy what I need.

-No Limited junk food/pop- The hope is that this will trim our grocery bill as well as our waistlines.

-Using Coupons- Good coupons are hard to come by, but I am keeping my eyes peeled for them and trying to remember to use them when I have them.

-Eating reasonable-sized portions- Often, I will cook a meal that should feed about four people, but my husband and I eat the whole thing by ourselves. This is not healthy. It's also expensive, and it needs to stop.

Also, I’m starting a new “thing” on my blog called Frugal Friday. Every second Friday, I will share my “feats”, “fails”, and “finds”  on my quest to becoming more frugal.

Feats:

-I did a meal plan for the majority of our dinners this week.
-I have been getting better at remembering to turn off lights when I leave the room (I have an annoying habit of leaving them on, which drives my husband insane. He’s right, leaving lights on is a huge waste of money, not to mention the impact on the environment).

Fails:

-I had to throw away broccoli that had gone bad. I hate throwing away food, especially vegetables and fruits which are so expensive.
-I take excessively long, hot showers. My money is literally going down the drain.

Finds:

-I came accross a $2 off Pampers diapers coupon.  Now I just have to remember to use it! There are a bunch of other great coupons on the P&G website, so it’s definitely worth checking out.

Do you have any feats, fails, or finds this Frugal Friday?

Weight Loss After Pregnancy

How awesome is it that my crappy camera didn't pick up the number on the scale!

Weight loss after pregnancy is hard. Really hard. And it certainly doesn’t help that everywhere you look there is another picture of a celebrity with rock hard abs, two weeks postpartum. Well, if I had a personal trainer, a chef, a live-in nanny, and a professional airbrusher/photoshopper, I’d look like that too. But I don’t.  However, I am now finally below my pre-pregnancy weight, and if I wear a loose shirt and squint really hard, I can almost forget about the muffin toppy paunch that’s sticking around like fruitcake in January.

Anyway, paunch aside (because I choose to ignore it), I am happy to have finally shed the postpartum weight.  And because you asked (okay, you didn’t ask, but I’ll tell you anyway), here is what helped me with my weight loss after pregnancy:

No Set Deadline: I’m no good with deadlines. Deadlines make me stressed. Stress makes me eat. You get the picture. So I really didn’t push myself. Like reeeaaallly didn’t push myself. Okay, so this might not have been the best approach, because I probably ended up actually gaining weight during the first three months postpartum (I say probably because I never went near a scale- I’m not that stupid.)  I decided to go easy on myself, because after the trauma of childbirth and the sleep deprivation that comes with caring for a newborn, I just wasn’t up for calorie counting.  When I was ready (and by ready, I mean becoming a major chubster), I decided it was time to bite the bullet (instead of the bagel) and get thin and healthy again.

Coffee and Club Soda: Now before you get all judgey, no, I did not replace food with coffee and club soda. Ew. I love food, and I believe in eating a healthy, balanced diet.  My problem is deserts. My love for deserts knows no limits, and my husband will tell you that I once ate an entire cheesecake in one sitting. I admit to nothing.  Anyway, my philosophy is that I need to have some kind of treat every day. It becomes a ritual, a time to relax, and to be indulgent. I’ve realized, though, that this treat doesn’t need to be desert. So I decided to start having no cal or low cal treats. I didn’t drink any coffee during pregnancy, so sipping my travel mug of coffee every day has become my favourite luxury. And as a fun, fizzy alternative to water, I have Club Soda every so often. Sometimes I pretend there’s booze in it, just to give it that extra kick. Of course, I still do eat deserts (I’m not a fan of deprivation), but I’m trying to learn the art of moderation. I've come a long way since those cheesecake days.


Walks: Since my daughter was born, I have not only developed mom guilt, but also pet-owner guilt, because as anyone with a new baby and a dog knows, the dog suddenly ranks a lot lower in the pack, which is not easy on the dog. In an attempt to alleviate my guilt, and my dog’s self-esteem problem, I have been trying to get out for walks with the baby and the dog as frequently as possible.

Making Baby Food: I’ve always gone through phases of obsessing about nutrition, and then I’ll get lazy and go through phases where I’ll have pancakes for dinner. However, now that I’m responsible for making nutritional choices for someone who can’t make them herself, I’m super motivated to do it right, and to not feed her pancakes for dinner (too often). As a result, I’m in a nutrition conscious mind frame and that’s helping me eat well.

All these strategies aside, I think the main reason that I’ve been able to shed the baby weight is because I am in a positive state of mind these days because of the joy that my daughter brings to my life. So, I attribute my postpartum weight loss to her. But really, it's only fair that she be the one to help me get skinny, when she’s the one who made me fat in the first place.