Saturday, 26 May 2012

Stupid Mom Tricks

Stupid mom tricks- every mom has them. These are the little systems we invent to make the day to day hassles a little less hassle-y. These tricks aren't actually stupid, they are just simple, but aren’t the simplest solutions usually the best?  So, without further ado, I present to you my stupid (smart) mom tricks.

Problem: You finally get your newborn baby to sleep, and you are dying to get some yourself. You brush your teeth, put on your comfiest pyjamas and curl up in your nice warm bed that you now appreciate more than ever. You are just drifting off into dreamland, and the shrill piercing sound of your baby’s cry startles you awake.

Solution: Once you get your baby to sleep, do not put your pyjamas on; do not brush your teeth. Just get into bed. Assume you are going to be woken up in ten minutes, and next thing you know, it's three hours later and you've actually just SLEPT for three hours straight! Don't ask me why it works, and don't come complaining to me when all your clothes are wrinkled, and you have eight cavities. Just be grateful that you finally got some sleep.

Problem: That perfect, delicious cup of hot coffee that you've been craving all day gets cold because you got interrupted by diaper changes/ feedings/ hair covered in baby poo, OR that same delicious cup of coffee gets spilled everywhere because baby has decided to use it for batting practice.  Either way, goodbye coffee; hello grumpy mama.

Solution: Travel mugs. Not just for traveling. Use your travel mug for drinking coffee at home, and all your problems are solved- well, your coffee-related problems, anyway.  My favourite travel mug is the Contigo Autoseal mug. It has this little button that you push while you are taking a sip, and then it automatically closes again when you let go. I play with my baby on the floor, putting the travel mug down beside me, and have never had any spills, despite having it knocked over numerous times. Plus, my coffee stays hot for hours, which is very important, because cold coffee really pisses me off.

Problem: The Urination Situation: As soon as you put the baby in the tub, she thinks to herself, “What lovely warm water. I think I’ll pee now”.   My daughter used to pee in the bath about 75% of the time I bathed her (the other 25% of the time I probably just didn’t notice). 

Solution: Pee Prevention System designed to put an end to the urination situation:
Step 1: Get bath ready
Step 2: Remove baby’s clothes, leaving diaper on
Step 3: Dip baby’s feet in the water (if you’re ambitious, you may dip baby’s hands in as well) for a few seconds.
Step 4: Remove diaper, hoping that she’s peed in the diaper, thus preventing the dreaded bath pee. (Bonus points if you have the kind of diaper with the pee indicator that changes colour when the baby pees, so you can see immediate evidence of your success. Pampers- I hope you’re reading this, because I think I’ve just given you a new angle for marketing the pee indicator. You can thank me with a lifetime supply of diapers, please.)
Step 5: Bathe your baby, and enjoy every pee-free moment.
Should the pee prevention system not work, I don’t know what to tell you. Sorry, you don’t get your money back. You do, however, have my sympathy, and if I ever do get that lifetime supply of diapers, I’ll send a few your way.

24 comments:

  1. LOL! Love this post. My favorite is the first tip and it's so true! So many nights I've fallen asleep fully clothed because sure enough if I actually get ready for bed I won't actually make it there!

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    1. Even though my daughter now sleeps through the night (for the most part), I still sometimes go to sleep in my clothes if I'm already wearing yoga pants or something. It's hard to break the habit!

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  2. I just read your note on MBC and really liked what you had to say about following blogs we really want to read - I've your newest follower, visiting from www.dovetailblog.com.
    Look forward to reading more! Shawna

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  3. Love these... Never thought about the travel mug around the house.

    And even as we're into the 8th month of baby I still go to bed thinking 'any minute now she's going to wake up!'

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    1. I still think that way too (although at the same time, I'm always surprised when she does wake up in the night!)

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  4. Hahaha! The first one, especially, made me laugh. I learned that trick quickly. Found you on MBC! New follower! Stop on by:
    http://weddedblissplusbaby.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for following. I'm following you as well :)

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  5. Thanks for joining the snarky mamas group ;) I'm a mom of three , so I happen to think a little pee in the bath never hurt anyone ;)

    Www.getrealmama.blogspot.com

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    1. That's good to hear, because now that she's in the big girl bath, I have no idea if she's peed anymore! Love your blog, btw.

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  6. Love the list! We have all used various forms of them in order to survive.
    Glad to have found your blog!
    Jennifer
    http://www.practicallyperfectprincess.com/

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Jennifer! :)

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  7. haha..I think you're right!! the sleep one is the best..my husband and I were walking zombies for years and years..
    I am your newest follower from the hop..pls follow back if you can.

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  8. Thanks for the comment, Annmarie. Off to check out your blog!

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  9. Ha, these are excellent! And I think Pampers should totally give you a lifetime supply of diapers. :D

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    1. Thanks, Rachel! No lifetime supply of diapers received yet. Sigh.

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  10. Your tips are great! I have one trick. When I want to get my kids to do something I sing "Twinkle twinkle little star" as a timing device (because I don't carry a stop watch around with me all day). My kids are 4, 5, and 7 and every time they hear that song they all stop what their doing and run to do whatever I've "set the timer" for.
    I found you over at the TGIF Blog Hop. Marian @ just keep swimming

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    1. Really? You don't carry a stopwatch with you around all day? What's wrong with you? Hahah. That's a good trick- especially for me, since I don't own a watch!

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  11. That first one is dead on. Both my kids had this incredible knack of crying only when I was lying in bed. If I sat and slept they'd stay sleeping, even if it was an hour. The moment my back touched the bed they would cry.

    Newest follower from the blog hop

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    1. It's funny how that works. I never tried the sleeping sitting up thing, but I would have slept standing up in those early days if it meant that I could have gotten a little bit of extra sleep!

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  12. Haha, I'm always using a travel mug or one of those drink to go cups (for cold fluids)!
    Just found your blog thru TGIF blog hop - I can't wait to read more of your posts when I have more time! Happy Friday!

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  13. I need the travel mug. Damn you for not writing this sooner, I could have been using the pee idea for 10 years! Great post and thanks for joining us on the Blog Hop!!!

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  14. Hi! I just joined TGIF Blog Hop and followed you via GFC. Hope to read more of your posts in the future! :)

    whyyyjen.blogspot.com

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  15. Hilarious - and such good tips. Although I have to admit - I've never been bothered by a little pee in the tub. I tell the older kids not to drink it, but I figure that's about all I can do. :)

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