Friday, 7 September 2012

Why I Never Leave The House

I used to be a very punctual person.  Since having a baby, however, I am frequently late, frazzled, and missing an essential something or other. Please refer to the following diagrams comparing the current state of affairs to the way things were in a much simpler time.

Leaving the house with a baby:









Leaving the house in the days before baby:





48 comments:

  1. hahaha love this! I feel the same way. I can NEVER find my keys either. Ever. I have somewhere to hang them up yet they are never on the hook. Save your money. You won't use it :)

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    1. Thanks for the tip. I can never find my phone either. Or my shoes. Or my mind.

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  2. I thought I was the only one with these problems.... LOL! I have a key hook thing, and it works, well most of the time. ;-)

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    1. My "key hook" is the floor in the hallway. It works, well, most of the time ;)

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  3. ah, this is so right on. Add potty training and man, it just will never happen. The last time I was at Walmart we went to the bathroom three times. And have you ever lost the keys in the car while putting the kids in their car seats? yeah, that happened.

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    1. I actually have a perpetual fear of locking the keys in the car with the baby in her car seat.

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  4. I hate when baby spits up on her outfit as I'm locking the door. If I'm just going to the store, I continue on my merry way and just wipe it off...if I'm going to visit friends or family I change her clothes.

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    1. That used to happen to me all the time when my daughter was younger. Fortunately now that she is almost a year, she spits up a lot less. Finally!

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  5. Hilarious! Although I must admit that I was late before babies... it's just much worse now :-(

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    1. But at least now you have an excuse!

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  6. Too funny! Glad I'm not the only one. I'm always so exhausted by the time I actually leave the driveway that I wonder what was the point in the first place. Oh, the life of being a parent! =)

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    1. Once I get into the car, I always feel like "Well, that wasn't so bad. Look at me go!" It's like I immediately forget about the hour it took to get me there!

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  7. I recall a company picnic we wanted to take our baby to. The picnic was at 2:00 in the afternoon and we started getting our baby ready at 9:00am. We got to the picnic at 3:00.

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  8. So funny!!!I am late all the time and I CAN NEVER find my keys. SUch a cute post!

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    1. You'd think we'd eventually learn to just keep our keys in the same place so we wouldn't have this problem! :)

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  9. Sometimes, by the time I leave the house, I am so exhausted by the efoort that I need a nap. A couple of weeks I had to change my daughter's diaper and her clothes, in the driveway of our hose. We hadn't actually "left" yet, but I knew if I went back in the house it would be like starting over from the beginning!

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    1. Smart thinking with the driveway maneuver. Very clever! :)

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  10. lololol hilarious! no wonder why i never see my friends that have kids lol

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  11. Ouch, that's fourteen extra steps. Now I'm tired.

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  12. I remember those good ol' days trying to go somewhere with the baby. Dang, ain't this the truth! Coming to you from Saturday Top Five Laughs

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    1. "Trying" being the operative word.

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  13. Ugh, how true this is! Then when things finally get easier you think "hey, that wasn't so bad, lets have another one". And repeat.

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    1. Hahahha. I always say that I won't have another until I forget how bad pregnancy, childbirth, and the newborn phase were. At this rate, it's going to be awhile!

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  14. EXACTLY. My sister (sans kids) totally doesn't get this. Yeah, basically I'm insanely jealous of her because she can just walk out the door--will we ever regain this magic talent??

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    1. Not only will you one day regain this talent, you'll be faster than you ever were pre-kids. Kind of like your mad grocery store skills when your kids aren't with you. I think this luxury is many years in the future, though!

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  15. Oh this is so true. My older one undress themselves after I dress them while I change the babe diaper! FUN TIMES....... Great post so funny

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    1. Oh wow. That's a whole other level of frustration I have yet to experience. Looking forward to it! :S

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  16. Oh so true and so funny! It's never just "leave the house" anymore....

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    1. On the rare occasion I go somewhere without my little one, I feel so light and free and unencumbered (and I always feel like I must be forgetting something!)

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  17. This is so hilarious. And unfortunately, so true!

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    1. Thanks! And yes, I speak the truth! :)

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  18. Ah, that's hilarious! Been there so many times!!! And as they get older, I keep hoping it will get better, but it doesn't. Maybe because I keep having more kids.

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  20. Love your chart...you covered it!!!!

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  21. How old is baby? Consider this an 18 year warning...I've been told it gets better, but I don't believe them...

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    1. I believe it gets better. I have to believe that for the sake of my sanity!

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  22. That was so ture. The list gets longer the more kids you have,lol. I started following you today please stop by http://atmycounter.blogspot.com

    Thank you and I cant wait to read more of your blog.

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  23. The poo RIGHT BEFORE leaving the house sucks, especially since I've typically JUST changed her!!!!

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    1. I knooow. I'm not looking forward to when pooing right before leaving the house involves her sitting on a potty. At least now, it's just a quick change table fiasco.

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