Trying To Be Funny? Don’t Use These Expressions

For whatever reason, (maybe because I've been spending way too much time reading random crap on the internet when I should have been cooking/cleaning/being generally productive) I have been thinking a lot about overused expressions and words. So, as long as I'm already wasting time, I figured I would compile a list of these overused expressions. I will preface this list my admitting that I use all of these expressions, so I won't judge you if you do too.

1. The word "hilarious" is often used when the more appropriate word would be "funny". See, "hilarious" means "really really funny", but it is frequently used to describe things that are just regular-funny.

        Eg. "Did you just eat that entire box of cookies? That's kind of hilarious."

No. No it's not kind of hilarious because things can't be kind of really really funny. It just doesn't make sense. But then, maybe it's the juxtaposition of "kind of" and "hilarious" that makes it....a little bit hilarious? I don't know, but we're all over the over-the-top words. Awesome. Perfect. Fabulous. It's a big superlative party, and I want to go home.

2. “…Just Saying.” I think people think that if they follow whatever they say with “just saying”, it allows them to say whatever the hell they want (and makes them funny?)

        Eg. “You probably shouldn’t have eaten that entire box of cookies. Just saying.”

Um, no, you are not just saying, you are “just” being a douchebag.

3. “Remember the time when…”  to refer to something that happened 30 seconds ago.

       Eg. Person eats entire box of cookies. Said person then says “Remember the time when I ate an entire
       box of cookies?”

Okay, this joke is seriously overplayed and passee, and it’s not even funny. Remember the time when we used to make Remember-The-Time-When jokes? Well, that time has passed. Move on.

4. “May or may not have” used to mean “did” with a hint of guilt.

        Eg. “I may or may not have eaten the whole box of cookies”.

Yeah, it’s an annoying, overused expression, but I contend it’s still funny, and I may or may not continue to use it.

5. “And by____, I mean _____.”

        Eg. “I ate a few cookies, and by a few, I mean the entire box.”

Yes, we all know this one. We also know its not-so-distant cousin, the strikethrough,

        Eg. "I just ate a whole box of  a few cookies”.

I personally love the strikethrough, and you will likely see me overindulging in its deliciousness from time to time. And cookies too. I was the one who ate the whole box, in case you were wondering.